Like a lot of women I knew one day I wanted to be a mother, my now husband and I planned to start a family after we turned 30 but our babies had different plans…..we were 24.
I Woke up for the third day in a row after a night out with friends still feeling sick and thought, Man! This hangover is lasting forever! Wait what is the date? Hmmmm…. Yep, the test was positive. I took the test to my partners work and in private, looking white as a sheet told him we were pregnant. He turned a paler shade of white, mumbled something about going back to work and turned away in a daze (funny to think back on now). I drove to my best friend’s house, stood on her stair and cried. She looked at me having seen me the day before and noticing that I was sick them. She instantly knew why I was there.
Now I was really nervous, I went to see my GP who referred me to see my OB/GYN as he was seeing me due to some nasty results from 3 pap smears in the years before. CIN II and CINIII (twice) so my cervix was very short and scared. He was concerned that I would have an incompetent cervix and would require a cervical cerclage (a stitch to keep the cervix closed) at around 16 weeks. I felt so scared I was almost disconnected from the fact that we were having a baby, too scared to get excited a feeling that I would come to know VERY WELL. We had a small bleed early on, looking back it was more than likely implantation bleeding but it was terrifying.
The baby and I were checked regularly and my cervix remained closed without the need for a cervical cerclage. At 20 weeks we decided to find out the sex of our baby to help ease the fear I was feeling, we were having a baby boy. The rest of my pregnancy was nice and smooth, I have very little morning sickness although dad to be vomited often.
I refused to set up anything baby related in our house, it sounds strange but I was terrified to return home from the hospital with no baby and a house with a set up baby room. We had clothes and nappies but no cot although we had organised to buy one when the time came.
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